Wonder Woman, As Told Through Captions

I watched the Wonder Woman movie in theaters on Saturday, and I’m a bit conflicted on how I feel. Obviously I loved it, but at the same time, I feel like it’s possible I didn’t love it as much as everybody else did. Of course I’m going to be buying the steelbook when it comes out, of course it was my most anticipated movie of the year, and of course it was as delightfully feminist as anything I could have hoped for. But at the same time, it didn’t blow me away as much as I had hoped it would.

Now don’t get me wrong, this movie fully deserves all the praise that it’s getting. The characters are amazing, the lines are wonderful, the setting is gorgeous throughout the entire film, and Wonder Woman is the absolute best. Indeed, I fully believe that Wonder Woman’s origin story could not be done any better (keep in mind I’ve never read the comics though). This was for sure 1,000x better than the boring movie that Man of Steel was. Even so, the snob in me expected something a bit more unpredictable and less of a classic – which is impossible because again, this is Wonder Woman’s origin story. It is a well known story, it has been a classic for so long, and it inspires little girls, young ladies, and older women everywhere. So yes, this movie is the best it could be in any universe, and I love it for what it is and what it represents.

I gave this 9/10 stars, but I feel awful about it. The lack of the last star is solely because of how predictable and straightforward the plot was. Which is how it’s supposed to be, I know, so I’m making no sense, but there it is. It’s a 10/10 if based on the source material plus its symbol in the patriarchy, but I rated it as just a movie, taking nothing else – not even the original story or comics – into account. Because my feelings about this movie are too confusing to relay properly, I figured I’d just caption some scenes, because I’ve recently discovered that captioning pictures is really fun.

Note: There may be spoilers, so maybe don’t read these until after you’ve watched the film.